I found Bernard and Calista in the 1870 Federal Census. Finally. They didn't live in Armada, but in Lenox Township. And their name was listed as "Wilden", not Wilder. I submitted a correction report for the names and hopefully they'll be searchable soon for anyone else looking to find them. But after all these years, I think I'm the only one who's been trying to find them.
I also had an epiphany while searching for Josie Wilder Seeley: The Pittsburg referred to in Calista's obituary is NOT in Pennsylvania, but in Michigan. So I Googled "Pittsburg, Michigan" and found it to be in Bennington Township, Shiawassee County. Duh. I know she was there in 1919 when Calista died, so now I have to search the 1920 census.
I found the Wilder's in the 1880 census by searching Macomb County page by page, which is tedious, but rewarding. I also found more Plat maps of Macomb County, but they aren't easily read. And it turns out I was looking in the wrong township anyway. So I'll work on that.